I Am A Dog

Turns out I'm a dog.

This discovery occurred to me today as I sat uncomfortably in the back seat of a car. I have a problem with being made to sit in the back when in a car. The majority of you will probably assume this is just me whining about not getting to sit in the front seat, but you'd be wrong.

Okay, so it's partially because sitting in the back sucks... and I want to sit in the front like the big boys do, but that's not the only reason.

My main reason is the fact that whenever I sit in the back of a car, I almost immediately begin to feel terrible. Inexplicably and completely out of the blue, I feel every aspect of feeling rubbish washing over me. I start to feel light-headed, sick, tired, headachey (definitely a word) and odd on the inside.

All these things happen at once, and it is all these things that lead to me sticking my head out of the car window like a happy Spaniel.

A happy Spaniel who is about to hurl all over the windscreen and bonnet of the neighboring car.

So it was today, as I was desperately gasping for air at the crack in the window, that I realised my canine similarities.

Not only do I have to stick my head out of moving cars, but I am also exceedingly hairy, love playing with frisbies and balls and on occasion can become annoyingly frisky. Alright, so I'm not sniffing arse just yet, but you know it's probably only a matter of time...

I actually spent the majority of today (when not scaring traffic on the British highways) pattering about on all fours in an attempt to reach my dog on some kind of equal level. Some people may claim that was an infantile thing to do, but you know what, I had fun.

I think this entire thing has probably come to mind because I have spent the last few weeks noticing how people sometimes resemble animals. It's fun to do...simply take a list of people you know, and compare them to a list of popular woodland creatures. You'll be surprised how easy it is to match them up. I for one know a staggering variety of small vole-like animals, and the occasional rare bird.

But amongst all this fascinating enlightenment, do you know what the main thing I have learned is?

...

Isn't unemployment fun.